This Blog is for YOU...

If you are/were Gender Dysphoric - so as to know some from me and share some with me, and reaffirm that none of us is alone... To acknowledge that we have a treasure of insurmountable Courage, Strength and Hope in us. I have a feeling that we were given slightly higher quantities of those special gifts :-) [If you have a question to ask me, you could write it as a Comment to one of the posts, and either I would reply to it as a Comment itself, or probably, respond in one of the future posts on this blog]

If you have never been Gender Dysphoric - so as to understand what it means to have a Gender Identity Disorder. Of course, it primarily depends on whether you want to or not. If you don't, please do make a quiet exit and try not to be a nuisance.

If you're confused - so as to realize that everybody goes through a stage of confusion - the period could be short, or sometimes, very long. What is important is to acknowledge that being unsure until you're sure is as normal and as alright as night before day.


If you're a human being - so as to find out for yourself whether you want to try to make the world a better place to live in, for every fellow human being, irrespective of their health, wealth, colour, race, gender, religion and any and every other line of division you can think of.


And finally, this blog is for ME - so as to be able to make some difference somewhere by sharing my experiences, and along the way, slowly grow out of those anxieties and insecurities that have inhabited my life for over 2 decades. It is time to escort them to the door now!

Come, Join me on this journey!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year!

A year of plenty Firsts and many Lasts,
Painting the Futures and Wrapping the Pasts,
several Handshakes and some Goodbyes,
of Merry-making and Teary Eyes,
Flowing back to the Sea-side City,
Unravelling the secret - Life's so pretty!
Thank you 2009!
You were just fine! :)


  1. Hope this year brings you a cumulative courage and stamina to lead those souls which are alike and akin to you - WISH YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR

  2. Happy and joyful new year and new decade. Thanks for all your help.
    -Kausalya Suresh.

  3. Hi Gazal,
    Wish u a very very happy and a prosperous new year.
    May u get all that u desire and may all your wishes come true this year.
    Have a ROCKING YEAR ahead.

  4. happ new year gazal it me babal kase hon ap main bikul thek hon main ne ap se pochna tah ke main ap ke web site ko kisrath se check karskte hon in detail shoro se ab tak kah se start karo mujh samjh nhae arhe thi kiay ap patho ge kis tarh se sub read karan hain pahle se laker ab tak yani jo palhe us ke bat pher us ke bath pher main ap se bat kar caho ge is zariya se main kush hon lakin andar he andar dukhe bhi main ne ap kp pataya tah ap ko sahid yad ho main pakistan se bhair hon bachpan se apni family ke satth study complete ki aur ab job laken mujhe samjh nahe arhe kub kase wo pahal kadam barday jaye kushe ke tarf kase main agye apana par rakho main south arfric ke side mai rathy hon ek islamic contry main aur main sub se pahle apni body aur face se hair remove karna cahty hon main ne kahbe blade use nahe kaiy par i have use machin kaiy ap ke pas koi ase carem ak nam hain fil hal jise main apne gaher zarore balo ko hata sako hemesah ke laiye keu mujhe nahe lagath ke yah n pay asa hoat hain liser machin ke thor aur mujh ek craem ka nam maila tah touch me jika suna hain ke bal kafi had tak kam hotay hain ap ka rai kiya hain kaiya ap ne kahbe carm use kaiy kaiy ap srs se pgale shanig karty thi mujhe kai uljan hoti hain apnay face aur body ke baloo se aur main yaeh harmones tablet cahty hon yaeh mujhe kah se milgaye kaiya hormance se awaz patli hone main help hoti hain aur kaiya srs ke bat bhi sare umer madicene kahnay party hain kaiya is harmonce ke side effet hain ?kaiy opertion k koi khatara hota hain ya in future main body mainkoi frak koi in faction main kafi darti hon thaks alot plz ans me hp u undersatn me bye gazal babel ?

  5. I myself love to be feminine and wear all feminine clothes especially sarees

  6. Rachana – Thank you so much! Wish you a splendid New Year too!

    Kausalya – You’re welcome! Have a great 2010! :)

    Arpana – Thanks a lot! I wish you every happiness and success too! Live it up! :)

    Babal – Sabse pehle toh aapko Happy New Year! I’m sure ki aapka ye saal bohot achha beetega.

    Doosra, mere blog posts ko ek-ek karke padhna hai, toh aisa kijiye. Blog ke left-hand side pe jo links hain, unmein aapko ek link dikhega ‘A Little Voice…’ Aap uspe click kijiye. Wo meri sabse pehli post hai. Use padhne ke baad aap Post ke neeche dekhengi, toh aapko dikhaayi dega ek link – ‘Newer Post’ (yaani iske baad ki Post). Use click kijiye toh uske baad waali post khul jaayegi. Phir use poora padhne ke baad phir se neeche ek link hoga ‘Newer Post’. Isi tarha ek-ek karke aap sabhi posts padh sakti hain.

    Babal, agar aapko lagta hai ki ek Islamic country mein reh kar apna sex change karna mushkil hoga, toh meri sabse pehli salaah yahi hogi ki aap mehnat karke kisi aur country mein jaayein, jahaan aapko zyaada freedom milegi. Sex change ki taraf aapka pehla kadam toh yahi hona chahiye ki aap ek psychiatrist se milein aur apna checkup karwaayein. Agar 2 alag-alag psychiatrists aapko ‘Gender Identity Disorder’ se pareshaan bataate hain, toh aapko medically hak hai apna sex change karwaane ka.

    Jahaan tak meri knowledge hai, baalon ke liye aapko Laser ka hi sahaara lena padega. Aur koi bhi cream wagarah permanent nahin hoti. Ek baar aapko psychiatrist se certificate mil jaaye to aap hormones waale doctor se hormone tablets bhi le sakti hain. Usse baalon pe thoda asar padta hai, magar awaaz pe kuchh khaas nahin. Awaaz ke liye aapko khud hi rozaana kuchh kuchh ghante practice karni padegi. Jahaan tak operation mein khatre ka sawaal hai, toh wo toh kisi bhi tarha ke operation mein thoda bohot rehta hi hai Babal, lekin usse darne ki zaroorat nahin hai. Meri body mein kisi bhi hormones wagarah se koi infection nahin hui, lekin agar aapko phir bhi darr hai, toh ye jaan lijiye ki aapke doctor aapki achhi tarha se checkup karne ke baad hi aapko dawaiyaan denge. Isliye, koi chinta mat kijiye.

    Filhaal, aap sirf ye faisla kijiye ki kya aap isi desh mein rehte hue sex change kar sakti hain? Agar nahin, toh apni life ka 5-year plan banaaiye. Mehnat kijiye aur kisi aur country mein jaane ki koshish kijiye, wahaan ja kar aur paise kama kar aap SRS ka process shuru kar sakti hain.

    Mujhe pata hai abhi ye sab bohot mushkil lagta hoga, lekin sach maaniye, agar aap apni himmat aur ummeed banaaye rakhengi, toh kuchh bhi namumkin nahin. All the best Babal! Take care.

    Miss Sudha – Happy New Year!

  7. Hi Gazal,

    Any Plan To Get Married This Year? Would Love To See You As A Happy Bride,With Gorgeous Makeover And All.


  8. Hi Alok,

    Nope, sorry to disappoint you. :) Take care... All the best!

  9. one week over LOL

  10. Hi Gazal,
    I am a 50 year old Indian living in the US. I teach marketing at a college near new york and am a published writer...I struggle with similar issues but need to keep them a secret
    i greatly admire your courage, your grace and beauty but above all your brilliant mind, and a caring heart.......I will be in Mumbai the entire month of May and would be immensely grateful if i could meet you and have you join me for a drink or lunch, anywhere you like in Mumbai, so i can get your guidance and inspiration in would mean the world to me.
    Kindly, please write to me at my emaila ddress, which is femi_nize , letting me know
    best regards.
    jay / jasmin

  11. Anonymous2 - Hi!

    Jasmin - Thanks for the appreciation! :)

  12. u r welcome Gazal, But u did Not respond, either here or to my email address, if we could meet in Mumbai in May ?
    please, i hope you agree to meet

  13. i am disappointed that u just ignored my request to meet in Mumbai...Even if you did not want to meet you could have at least responded to my request...
    After reading All your blogs and seeing your interviews it becomes obvious that you are quite narcisstic and self absorbed. But of course Any One who causes so much pain to His ( Sorry you might Look like a girl But u r NOT a girl so No her / she for you ) family has to be immensely selfish. And, you are doing the same things that you blame Bobby Darling for...You do it with more class and you do write very well but you are equally publicity hungry....
    But the Biggest and Most disgraceful disservice u r doing to All your readers / listeners is by glorifying a sad and pathetic lifestyle and encouraging them to take the same leap that you did. You are Also such a hypocrite for saying that Orgasm does not is well known that over 50 % of M2F do NOT orgasm and doctors lie to make money and those operated lie to save face and justify their disastrous decision. You are dying to be a woman and Orgasm as a woman does Not matter ! Ha, that is so unnatural, and so abnormal...The fact is u have NO choice and U do NOT have the courage to admit that u made a mistake and that Now u r neither a man nor a woman, u r just delusional.
    I pray to God to give you peace....u say u r not sure about God, so why did u go to the gurudwara ?? to get langar ??
    Please stop destroying other lives !

  14. Jay / Jasmin – I regret that I could not reply to you sooner. I wanted to let my initial irritation at your comment subside before I replied, but then, got too busy with work, life and other important things like that.

    About meeting you, well, I still hadn’t decided whether I wanted to meet you or not, when your comment came in… and thankfully, that helped me make up my mind. I don’t want to go too much into detail responding to you. I’ll just say that the contrast between your opinions of me before and after my comment is amusing, and speaks volumes about the kind of person I’m dealing with.

    All I have to say in response to your ‘allegations’ is that I have faked absolutely nothing on this blog… ever. About my faith in the existence of God, even though it’s a personal matter (and is outside the gambit of this blog), I’m willing to concede that I am an agnostic and have evolved to be so, over a period of time. Going to a Gurudwara is not a religious experience for me. Places like Gurudwara, churches, etc are beautiful pieces of architecture and carry a pristine peaceful atmosphere, which I seek, sometimes.

    Also, when you call me selfish, please know that I do not take it as an insult… After all, man IS a selfish being. You and I, both are selfish in our own ways, just as is the rest of the world.

    You must have learnt by now that you cannot incite me to extract a response from me. I hope you like to act upon your learnings. All the best!

  15. Dear Gazal,I had written earlier about axcepting about the offer given by a generous lady to make u as her DAUGHTER IN LAW,still i would like u 2 axcept the offer and become chachi,mami,masi,daughter in law,bhabhi,bahu etc and enjoy the real womans life,Adopt some child in future and become Dadi,Nani etc.Enjoy the festivals, purely made 4 married women,otherwise what is the use of going through so much pain and egony to become a woman ?Hope u understand my point,give ur veiw in ur reply to me

  16. Hey I have a few questions for you ?? Can you answer me some and basically I am transgender mtf from India not a regular guy or a crossdresser ,I am a guy(girl) similar to you .... Tynkin you

  17. hye dear gazal how are u ? plz main app se request karti hon ke jis bhi bolg aur post main mian ne apna id lekha huwa hain use remove kardiya jaye its my request plz delete thats all my post where i wrote my e mail id ok by tc keep in touch

  18. its me babal ok plz delete my e mail id from the bolg and post

  19. hi dear gazal how are you? happpy birthday to u many many happy return of the day god bless u and give u every thing which u need in ur life and help u in every step of ur life jub se abb tak ka safar? kasa rah kiya badlaoo ayee?kasa waqt guzra? hppe and pray u k app ka annay wala time app ke lye dehroo kushiyaa layee ameen from ur frnd babal

  20. Anonymous3 – I have responded to you elsewhere on this blog.

    An – Yes, please feel free to ask the questions. I’ll do the best I can to respond.

    Babal – Ab har individual comment ko dhoond ke main delete toh nahin kar paoongi, I’m sorry. Aap aage se dhyaan rakh lena.

    And thank you so much for your lovely wishes! :) I wish ki aapko bhi wo sab miley jo aap chaahti ho. Take care.

  21. Hi Gazal,

    Good 2 know that ur blog is up n running. Have gone thru ur journey scribbles......Incredibly put together. Doing a commendable job supporting in their tribulations......that I lacked during my journey. Will write 2 u in due course.

    Regards n Take Care,

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  23. Hi r u?

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Civility check done? :-)