This Blog is for YOU...

If you are/were Gender Dysphoric - so as to know some from me and share some with me, and reaffirm that none of us is alone... To acknowledge that we have a treasure of insurmountable Courage, Strength and Hope in us. I have a feeling that we were given slightly higher quantities of those special gifts :-) [If you have a question to ask me, you could write it as a Comment to one of the posts, and either I would reply to it as a Comment itself, or probably, respond in one of the future posts on this blog]

If you have never been Gender Dysphoric - so as to understand what it means to have a Gender Identity Disorder. Of course, it primarily depends on whether you want to or not. If you don't, please do make a quiet exit and try not to be a nuisance.

If you're confused - so as to realize that everybody goes through a stage of confusion - the period could be short, or sometimes, very long. What is important is to acknowledge that being unsure until you're sure is as normal and as alright as night before day.

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If you're a human being - so as to find out for yourself whether you want to try to make the world a better place to live in, for every fellow human being, irrespective of their health, wealth, colour, race, gender, religion and any and every other line of division you can think of.

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And finally, this blog is for ME - so as to be able to make some difference somewhere by sharing my experiences, and along the way, slowly grow out of those anxieties and insecurities that have inhabited my life for over 2 decades. It is time to escort them to the door now!

Come, Join me on this journey!

Monday, October 20, 2008

The Last Mile

Recap 1: Thus Began my Flight!
Recap 2: Hello Bangkok!
Recap 3: The Two Guys who had Everything in their Hands

October 18, 2007 was a pretty eventless day. We were either watching TV in our room [The only watchable channel – HBO], or exploring the various sections of the hotel. It’s a pretty place, Hotel Baan Siri Rama. There’s a lot of greenery, serenity and peace, especially in the cottages section.


It was a quiet day. None of us spoke much. I didn’t feel any need to, and the others, I guess, were nervous about the Tomorrow. I wasn’t. I never became nervous, not even until the climax. That doesn’t go to say I was confident. I wasn’t. But that doesn’t go to say I feared something would or could go wrong. Right or wrong were not even on my mind. Nothing was on my mind. I wasn’t afraid of the Tomorrow. I wasn’t looking forward to the Tomorrow. I wasn’t expecting anything out of the Tomorrow. It was a state of no state at all, and there’s no way to explain it.

Neither is there any way to explain why I found myself crying in the evening. I was saying to Mamma, “I’m just thinking of the past 25 years and feeling sad”, but it was a lie. Because I wasn’t thinking of anything. Because thinking felt unnecessary. Everything felt unnecessary. Pointless. I don’t think I was thinking about the pointlessness of the past 25 years.

No, I can’t explain that day. I don’t think I can ever even understand that day. And I don’t feel any need to.

4 comments:

  1. love meet r u from > me jasmin lady boy fell like wome , i cant sleep can help me plz <<<<<
    give pho no plz > i want become women like you ???????

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  2. plz it me babal reply me soon app bhoth lucky ke app kp intnay pyari mama mile hain

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  3. ShemaleJasmin - I'm sorry but I cannot share my personal contact information here. You're most welcome to ask me any questions that might help you in your journey and I'll answer them here. Also, I'll advise you to go through my entire blog and all the comments, before you ask me anything. I may have answered your question already on this blog. Take care. All the best!

    Babal - Thank you Babal! Yes, I am very lucky. Take care. All the best!

    ReplyDelete

Civility check done? :-)