This Blog is for YOU...

If you are/were Gender Dysphoric - so as to know some from me and share some with me, and reaffirm that none of us is alone... To acknowledge that we have a treasure of insurmountable Courage, Strength and Hope in us. I have a feeling that we were given slightly higher quantities of those special gifts :-) [If you have a question to ask me, you could write it as a Comment to one of the posts, and either I would reply to it as a Comment itself, or probably, respond in one of the future posts on this blog]

If you have never been Gender Dysphoric - so as to understand what it means to have a Gender Identity Disorder. Of course, it primarily depends on whether you want to or not. If you don't, please do make a quiet exit and try not to be a nuisance.

If you're confused - so as to realize that everybody goes through a stage of confusion - the period could be short, or sometimes, very long. What is important is to acknowledge that being unsure until you're sure is as normal and as alright as night before day.


If you're a human being - so as to find out for yourself whether you want to try to make the world a better place to live in, for every fellow human being, irrespective of their health, wealth, colour, race, gender, religion and any and every other line of division you can think of.


And finally, this blog is for ME - so as to be able to make some difference somewhere by sharing my experiences, and along the way, slowly grow out of those anxieties and insecurities that have inhabited my life for over 2 decades. It is time to escort them to the door now!

Come, Join me on this journey!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Questions from a pre-op MTF transperson and my Answers

  1. Is it a good idea to start anti-androgens on my own, if my psychiatrist is not ready to give me the necessary certificate?

    NO! Please don’t! Try another psychiatrist, and then, another. Try at least three different ones or more, if you can, but don’t administer any un-prescribed drugs to yourself, however harmless they might be known to be. I know fully well how hopelessly desperate you must feel, but unless at least one psychiatrist has certified you Gender Dysphoric (and trust me, there are supportive psychiatrists out there), you might be playing with yourself if you start with anti-androgens or any other drugs for that matter. Take it easy, relax… Really, RELAX! Don’t try to hurry anything. [To make an honest confession, I did hurry a few things and am still paying the price for it] Let things happen at their own pace. After all, we want to live a happy AND healthy life. And most of the times, the former is impossible without the latter.

  2. Any good psychiatrist in Mumbai?

    I have been to two – Dr. Y. A. Matcheswalla (Maseena Hospital, Byculla) and Dr. Sachin Patkar (Dadar). I can truly and sincerely vouch for Dr. Matcheswalla and his team. I must especially mention his (then) psychologist, Neeti, who conducted thorough and satisfactory tests on me and whose reports were not only well-detailed (and a good read, I must say) but were also fairly easy to understand and gave me an insight on myself. The other, Dr. Sachin Patkar and his team (which includes his wife whose name I forget, and gladly so), is your typical money-minting machine kind of a doctor. He tried to scare me away from the step I was contemplating, his team must have given me a total of 2 hours of time for which I was made to pay him Rs. 10,000/-, and worst, his reports were the shabbiest and absolutely indecipherable for me! Please let him be the last doctor you would want to consider, if you MUST consider him, that is!

  3. (Unrelated to the purpose of this blog, but anyway…) I don’t want to do engineering. I’d rather be making films. What should I do?

    Please make films! And don’t do engineering. I spent 4 years doing it and 2 more years to realize that I was 6 years late for my dream career, besides having spoilt 1 deserving person’s chances to have got a seat in my engineering college. Of course, I don’t regret those 4 years because they gave me beautiful memories to carry for a lifetime, but since you are yet to MAKE your memories, you should rather make them while making films, and not software or machines or bridges :-). All the Best!


  1. :) Question# 4: You got any advice for aspiring villains? *wink*. A role or two maybe. Ahem!

  2. First of all i wanna say that i am quite surprised by all the questions that pre op people asked you as mostly these are the last questions i would normally expect from them, anyhow it's good to see sanity in the world on a verge to change into an asylum.

    Ok coming back to the blog entry to which i wanna share my feelings and give my input-
    about the first question regarding anti androgens intake without the proper prescription by a clinical psychologist, well i have practically seen my friends doing the same to which they all had different kind of perspectives and agendas, i can understand their desperation and helplessness regarding this issue coz in our country life as a tg isn't a smooth one, they all reach a point where everything seem so blur that they loose the sense of ethics and their judgment regarding their own good will, so i fully agree with you on this and i honestly wanna say that desperation will only lead to annihilation of all the good things in life.

    Now about the 2nd question regarding psychiatrist in mumbai-
    well you had seen good and bad doc's in this field and yea most of them do try to scare away tg patients (atleast in india) it happened with one girl who went to AIIMS for psychological evaluation, so we can say that they aren't fully qualified or didn't have much experience regarding dealing with such patients but all this shouldn't be an excuse to treat them so inhumanly after all they are looking for help and such bad experiences can totally shake them and their hope for a better life as their true self. So finding a good psychologist must be the prime objective of a tg.

    simran x

  3. no comments for the first two questions.. but a serious reply for the third one... whoever asked it... please do not do engg if u are not a devotee of Einstein or if pressure laws bore u... for be sure no matter what branch u choose u are gonna study the same laws under diffrent names...

    moreover if film-making is ur interest, u can never survive in engg (and be glad for it...)coz film-making is all dynamic.. and engg os putting stale things together.. every year... every semester...
    beleive me.. i am in ma last year of engg... electronics engg... vaise decision is yours...

  4. I disagree with Simi Brar to some extent. I feel these are the most likely questions any transsexual person would like to ask and will ask, regarding a supportive doctor(which is not easy to find in a country like India where even a part of medical community fails to understand GID ),regarding anti-androgens ( as this is the 1st step towards transition and most importantly towards making yourself comfortable with your body. At least no more masculine features develop.)and also regarding career(which is always difficult for a transsexual person to decide as they usually seek a workplace environment where acceptance is easier and their true self more visible ). I wonder what questions you(@ Simi Brar) NORMALLY EXPECT from them?I guess most of the other questions can find their answers on net but these are questions which require ADVICE,right?Anyway, I really want to know how will you justify this statement,'anyhow it's good to see sanity in the world on a verge to change into an asylum'. Also, I fully agree with Gazal that taking anti-androgens without appropriate certificate is certainly not OK, but I don't find anything unethical about it.

  5. Simi brar - thanks for sharing your views... do keep visiting! :-)

    Anonymous - I have this feeling that there might be a little bit of misunderstanding here, because I feel that both you and Simi are actually speaking for the same side. Correct me if I'm wrong Simi, but I think when you say "these are the last questions i would normally expect", you mean - normally, you do not come across transpeople who are concerned about the correct questions, and since these ARE correct questions, you are glad that you have found somebody who speaks with sanity.
    And yes, Anonymous, it's not exactly a question of ethics when it comes to self-prescription if the affected party is only you, but in case, you're lying to your doctor and taking something (or taking an overdose) or are lying to any of your family members about your dosage, then it could become a question of ethical behaviour.
    But all said and done, I think we all are pretty much on the same page :-)

    Rohit - Thanks a lot for those insightful words. But I must disagree on one point. "Can't survive in Engineering if your interest is filmmaking"... I think not! Well, I survived... And survived well, i think :-). But yes, if our friend takes up filmmaking now itself, then they won't have to think in terms of 'surviving' :-)

    typedefx: well, times are tough! with heroes going all out to get the bad man's roles, you might find it easier to be a hero ;-)

  6. @anonymous
    it feels as if you don't know how to "read between the lines", all i meant was that people ask very stupid questions and i was surprised to see some questions like these. Anyhow i was talking in general way and i have no idea why you reciprocated in such a manner, most of my friends are doctors so i know a lot about medical ethics, Harry benjamin created certain criteria for evaluation of transgendered patients for the good of their own (just imagine what would have happen if there wasn't such criteria? wont there be plain chaos because even transvestites or either confused individuals will go for surgery, who in the end gonna end up in a miserable condition) so when you say that you don't find anything unethical about taking hormones without proper medical guidance, i find that pretty immature

  7. i have some questions about surgery!!!

    1)what are the long term effects of SRS??
    2)how long should a person continue harmones after SRS?
    3)did u had any augmentation mammoplasty?
    4)what is the ideal age to start harmones? my brother(m2f) seems to b suffering from GID,he is just can we help him????

  8. Electrolysis or Laser?Which one is better?Do you know any good doctors in Mumbai for the same?
    I know that the needs vary from person to person but still a general overview?

  9. Anonymous - Nowadays, what transwomen generally do, is go for a few (6-8) sittings of laser first to reduce the density and thickness of hair, and follow it up with electrolysis to kill the remaining hair. I think this is a good plan. But at all times, you must ensure that the doctor or technician whom you visit knows their job properly, else it can be a torturous experience, both during and after the session.

    I don't know any electrologist in Mumbai. For laser, Kaya is believed to be good. I have also heard good things about Dr. Rekha Sheth's laser results. She is a dermatologist who has clinics near Marine Lines and Vile Parle (I think).

  10. my dear rohit mishra ur doing engineering but i think ur not a right person for doing engineering because ur interest is in doing wrong things on right how can i believe that u r right person for solving the problem of science or releted branch.

  11. Anonymous - Er... This is the first time a comment on my blog has been written in a tone like this. I must let you know that I do not appreciate it. If you have any differences with Rohit over any issues, please know that I do not intend for my blog to become a space for you to vent yourself. Thanks!

  12. I fully agree about the money minting nature of Dr. Sachin Patkar. He does not have any fixed consultation charges. Looking in to patients financial condition, he chagres from Rs 3000 to 8000 on first visit and each visit again he charges Rs.2000 to 5000. He is sucking money from the patient. No doctor in Mumbai is as expensive as Dr. Patkar. After some time you realise the treatment give by him is not worth the money spent.Many patient changes Dr. Patkar over a period after frustation.

  13. Anonymous1 - Thanks for sharing that information! Take care.

  14. Hello everyone,

    One member of my family has started a treatment with Dr. Sachin Patkar and he charged us Rs.5000 on the first visit.
    He doesn't seem to be a money-minting machine kind of doctor ?!
    I have heard that he is better than Dr. Y. A. Matcheswalla ?
    Thanks for sharing informations!
    Take care.

  15. Hi Guys,

    I've been taking treatment from Dr. Sachin Patkar since last 5 yrs.

    I agree he is expensive but he is too good.He is like God to me, I was in a very bad shape when I met him, but with his help I am completely fine now.

  16. Thats strange Anonymous,

    He charged me (and usually others) 2000 rs on the 1st visit and 1,500 after that.....looks like you got for his treatment....its agressively expensive and not worth it....he is a money making machine....and his treatment sux( atleast to me, from my point of view ).....and to the second anonymous....why should any 1 be a god to a god to your self and u'll be a more productive human being

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Civility check done? :-)